CONFESSION OF A GEEK: Ultimate Heartache PART 1

 "I have to cry it out or else.. I will breakdown.. Or else I don't know.. I love you or should I say I loved you? I'm sorry If I blow things out of proportion and just like this post, It's my way to say, this is what I feel.. Everyday.. Every second.."




I decided to post this..



My mom and I were on our way back to Batangas that day at syempre sumesenti na naman ako. I somehow made this  post inside my mind. (ganyan ako ka-talented! Haha. Joke.) 


I made up my mind. 
I have to admit. 
I have to blurt this out.
I want to scream. 
That this is too much..



I'm sorry. 
I know this is not right. I don't know how it happened. Ni hindi ko alam saan ko nakuha ang lakas ng loob na tumingin sa mata mo. I don't know. 
People would always ask me, "Why him?" or even "Are you serious?" I know each and everyone of you would definitely have their own opinion about me. I don't care but then I respect that, no matter what. 
I don't know.. Again.. Why I came up to this? Pero alam ko at this point, I am on my way of REALIZATION and this is the most painful. 


I fell in love with HIM..
To the whole world.. I'M SORRY.
Kusa ko naramdaman na hindi ko alam bakit siya at bakit ganun. Sounds crazy but then again it's true. He's happy with his life, it shows and it is... obvious..


I made this as well for you. 
I want to say I'm sorry as well to you. 
We broke up. Yes.. People would always think that  because I laugh a lot? I joke a lot? I grin a lot, i can't have a serious relationship. I just broke up with this guy (I don't want to mention his name, he might kill me. Haha!) I'm with for almost 2 years. (pero based sa bilang nya, 6 years na daw kami? Haha.) 


I'm sorry, I have to end. 
And I will tell you the truth that I fell out of love. 
Unti unti ko yung inaamin, nararamdaman na din naman natin na hindi na tayo masaya, na tinitiis na lang natin ang sitwasyon. 
I'm sorry na hindi ko nagawang tapatan yung efforts mo.
Lahat ng ginawa, binigay at nasabi mo sa akin.
Pang-unawa at pagintindi na hindi ko nga naman naibigay sa past 6 years. 
Sorry. 






I fell in love with a guy who will never be mine. 
I hurts and it is a very sweet torture to see him everyday. 
He never notice me, that's the funniest thing and everyone would find it silly but then, I don't care. 
I just can't stand the pain. 






I broke my ex-boyfriend's heart.
I broke my own heart.
I broke my world. 
I took a leap close to pain. 






Bakit naman kasi? 
Ngayon tanong ako ng tanong. 
I admit, i love him though I hardly know him. 












But it will boil to one point..
I have to break my own heart.