MISS UNIVERSE DAY.

Miss Philippines, Janine Tugonon during the long gown competition. She looks like a mermaid in her gown.

Hi there! It's been a while since my last post. Enough of emotional blogs I had. I guess I should start blogging something different that will change the mood of this page. Anyways, I will be changing some portions of this page but not the whole thing. (Maybe the URL?) Anyways, thanks for visiting. 


I would just like to post some of my observations from the recent Miss Universe 2012 pageant that happened this morning (here in the Philippines, I know we guys have different time zones) Anyway, a lot of people or not a lot., majority of the people who watched it were very disappointed about the result. I am not surprised why the event gathered a huge number of viewers this year. If boys have their FIFA World Cup and Manny Pacquiao fights, this is what makes every woman's world stops. :) Sounds funny but I am one of them. 


I had some reports and updates this morning from Twitter. It was so surprising that people over that social networking site went gaga about the event. So including me, I was observing the trends and in a span of a minute or two, #MissUniverse2012 did make an instant TT (Twitter Trending) here in the Philippines. For me, that was new. I'm not used to getting some flooding updates about a world event. (I should consider Miss U like that.) Anyways, the introduction of the candidates was quite "boring". You see? I have to look to that 89 candidates making that small stage as a huge runway. Everyone was cheering for the candidates. Philippines is one of the crowd's favorites. Maybe it's because many "pinoys" are watching it live at the venue. Of course, USA won't lose the cheers as well. Philippine's candidate JanineTugonon made a huge scene upon doing the "cobra walk" which I don't have really any idea what's the difference with Shamcey's "Tsunami walk". 


TOP 16: Philippines was called at 10th. WOW! Huge scream from the crowd, Philippines making it to the Top 16 of the pageant. Well, there are two Asians who made it to the Top 16. Only Janine Tugonon and Miss India. The rest are almost from Europe. And then awards were given like Miss Congeniality and Miss National Costumes :) Miss Guatemala was the Miss Congeniality and Miss China took the National Costume award. 


Down to the Top 10. Philippines was almost the last to be called. She admitted during an interview via Skype that she was quite nervous on that part but the rest pageant was dominated with confidence. USA was the last candidate to take the last spot for the Top 10. 



Swimsuit competition was quite tough. Miss Philippines did perform her "Cobra walk". And damn she was so great! She has this super karisma that she got from the beginning  until the end of the pageant making her to stand out among the other beauties. She confidently made her swimsuit walk and she has a small waistline that I envy. 


Top 5 is about to announce. Philippines was called 3rd on the rank. Wow surprising again. She made it. With that single place in the Top 5 only means that we have a sure place in the pageant. She was stunning in her long gown. But for me, I don't like Janine Tugonon's gown? Who made that? Well, that's an opinion only. Anyways, the pageant moved forward as the Q and A gets closer. 

Janine picked Nigel Barker as the judge who will ask her final question.. It was like this:

"As an International Ambassador, do you believe that speaking English be a prerequisite for being Miss Universe? Why or Why not?" 

We will have different answers, isn't it? 
For me its not important if you guys will speak in what language. Janine was right. Miss Universe is just a title, what matters is how you will reach and influence people and how are you going to show the true meaning of beauty. 

"For me, Miss Universe is not about speaking a particular language, it's about being able to influence and inspire other people...."

Best answer so far. 
Anyways, everybody seems to be happy and satisfied with Janine's answer. She answered confidently and with convictions. So everyone hoped that she will bring home the crown. And then Leila Lopes' final walk. Miss Universe 2011, Miss Angola. She was dashing with her gown and thanked everyone who supported her during her reign. She was black but she has this beauty that is unique among the others.

4th Runner up -- Ms. Brazil.

3rd Runner up -- Ms. Australia 

2nd Runner up -- Ms. Venezuela 

1st Runner up -- Ms. Philippines 

Miss Universe 2012-- Ms. USA. 

Well, the world started tweeting again about the result. Some says, Philippines deserves the crown, that Ms. USA answered in general, that it should be Ms. Australia and Ms. Philippines for the final two, that Philippines had the best answer.




STOP. USA deserves it. Whether you guys like it or not. Even she tripped during the long gown walk. Even her answer was not clear, the judges had spoken their votes. Landing as 1st runner up is not bad though. Look guys, people all over the world thinks that we deserve to win the title. Flattering, isn't it? But look, we don't know what were the criteria that USA had a better score than us.


Let's just be proud. After the Pacquiao's fight and Azkals' loss, well, I believe this is a good reason for us Pinoys to be proud of this Christmas season. Congrats Janine Tugonon! You made the nation proud! You are still the Ms. Universe! :)

MOVE NERIE, MOVE

This is what I really feel right now..

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF..

I am tired of explaining.Tired of getting used to it. Tired of saying "And then what?"

I wanna tell everyone that my boyfriend and I broke up not because of money issue but because of differences. We decided to break up and I don't want to be precise with my reasons. Guys, I'm so freakin' tired and I wanna scream and ask why am I explaining this to each and everyone of you.

People. Every relationship has its own problem, some can move it over some cannot,we belong to the second one. I just want everyone to know that behind my ultimate loudness laughing during work hours is just my way of ignoring what happened. I was hurt, and my ex didn't even bother to ask to ask me how I am after the break up. 

I want everyone to know that it's not a money matter.

I loved James not because he is a damn lawyer.

That he owns his own Law firm and one of the top caliber Law offices in New York.

I don't care if he owns a skyscraper building in New York.

I don't care if he can buy me a fucking car and house here right away when I ask for it.

I don't care if he owns a million dollar lot.

I don't even care that he's a top lawyer in New York.

I don't even care about our age gap..

I never thought of it.. Even a single moment.

I was hurt.

I'm not looking back but still the short period that we were together, I learned that changes can snap your dream fairy tale.

Don't judge me.

You don't know the whole story, how we talked and how we ended up breaking each other's hearts. Don't push me to get mad. Don't force me to blurt out my bitterness.

I must get over.

MIDNIGHT BLUES PRESENTS: WISH NI SUPER NERIE

I call myself -- WISH GIRL. 
Kung ilalagay lahat ng wish ko mula nung bata ako? Siguro kahit isang libong pad ng yellow paper di kaya. 
Tataas ang kilay mo. Tatawa sa hinirit ko. Hindi ka man maniwala pero totoo talaga iyon. It's a maarteng term for AMBISYOSA. Kidding aside, YES. Para ngang I'm too ambitious, aren't I? 
(Syempre di mo alam.)

Ni minsan naman hindi ko inilagay sa isip ko ang LIBRE ANG MANGARAP tag na mula't sapul sinasaksak sa utak ng kahit sino sa atin, ano nga? That's when I tried to build my own dreams. Sobrang tayog. Higher than the skyscrapers in Makati. OA lang. 


I want to be a TENNIS PLAYER. Ay tama ka. I was inspired by this Wimbledon champion named Martin Hingis, back in? Ewan di ko na matandaan. Na pwede naman pala. I used to watch tennis matches everytime I get the chance. "Too stupid" susundan ng mga tawang pang-madyongera ng mga kaklase kong ang alam lang ata sa tennis ay ang hilatsa ng bola. (Sino ngayon mas stupid?)


I want a SOSYAL NA HAIRSTYLE. I even thought of bringing my flyaway chenes na suklay to maintain it. Well, another sign of stupidity. Walang magagawa. I grew simple with this not-so-pretty-but-smart look in the eyes, hindi din naman ako hambog eh no? :) So dinaan ko sa buhok, hoping as well, that that freakin' guy I like when I was 11 years would see me as a young lady. Pero.. Well (again) the ugly duckling was still the ugly duckling. (with the sosyal na flyaway look)


I want to be a SINGER. Unfortunately, isang malaking EPIC FAIL ang aking magiging career if I force myself to learn how to. Kundangan naman kasing nung nagsabog ng talent sa pagkanta, kakatulog ko lang. Nasambot lahat ni Charice Pempengco, Sarah Geronimo at Angeline Quinto. Forgive me with my examples, I'm just patronizing the local ones. Pero, it seems like singing is not my cup of tea and will never be PERIOD.


I want to be a DANCER. Sa lahat, eto ang kahit papaano ay natupad. Marunong ako, courtesy of my so-good-international-wannabe dancer na ate. Oh gee, I'm sorry for desscriptions ate. (By the way, I miss you, I'll see you soon.) Nakapagsayaw ako ng isang jazz song sa harap ng libo-libong estudaynte. Pero joke lang sa bilang kasi konti lang population namin. He-he. Though, I ended up weeping that day, not because we lost the contest (due to some of the pagkakalat ng isang member) but because everybody who knows me, especially classmates were laughing. Yun na ata yung pinakanakakainsultong nagawa sa akin. They laughed at me. Na alam ko din sa sarili ko na yun lang kasi yung talent ko.



I want to be a GAZILLIONAIRE GIRL. Iisipin mo siguro na abnormal ako dahil hindi mo na alam kung ilan ang zeros nun. Pero sa totoo lang, what brought me with that wish ay ang insecurities with such material things making me more stupid. I'm sorry for the damn self-esteem I got here. I really mean it. At itinatak ko sa isip ko na kapag nakatapos ako ng pag-aaral ay magpapayaman talaga ako. Tatalunin ko sina Christian Grey at Gideon Cross. And those freakin' gazillionaires are impossible, dahil fictional lang sila. I'm sorry, (drawn by the books HA-HA-HA) Uumpisahan ko na, wag ka mag-alala, 



I want to be a FILM DIRECTOR. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nerie, the future director and will follow the footsteps of those film geniuses, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, George Lucas and James Cameron. Ambitious! :) I've always wished for it. I thought kaya ko. Hindi din pati ng bulsa. Pass.


Akala mo kalokohan lang lahat ng ito? Well drop the crap, because you are absolutely mistaken. 


Lastly, I'll share to you my deepest secret wish. So hindi na sya secret. :)
I want to be a PRINCESS. Hindi literal pero yung happy ending. I was 17 years old when I thought of it. 
Blinded by love, I really thought it would come true. He came into my life. Casted a spell of love. I fell. Deep. And everything seems so perfect. Dun nabuo ang happy ending ko dapat na walang castle, crown or septer. It is just a young love story. 


It remained untouched for quite long years.
Greatful. Smitten. I'm still inlove.
Pero kahit gaano pala kaperfect ang inaakala mong punyetang love story mo, sometimes, it will all break right under your nose. Based on what happened to that damn stupid love story. 
Okay fine! I'll admit it. I miss him. 
Sana maulit pa yung love story and I'll make sure, it'll end up happy. :)

A GIRL CAN DREAM. 

PS:
2-0 na score sa football match.
Ito ang game na tadtad ng penalty kick. :)

MOVE ON NA TAYO PLANET EARTH!

(Ang actual message ng ex-boyfriend kong napakabait.)

I know. Wag na magtanong alam kong malaking katangahan yung ginawa ko, bakit ako nagdecide na ganun. IMPULSIVE move. Wrong move.

Nagulat na lang ako sa nareceive ko. Alam kong nakakahinayang nga naman pag nalaman ang totoong nangyari kung bakit ko nga ba BINALEWALA base na din sa sinasabi nila in behalf of Benedict.

I am stupid.

I am selfish.

I am weak.

I am idiot.

I am inconsiderate.

I am a monster.

I am not but a shame.

I am reckless.

I am impulsive.

I am insensitive.

I am an imp.

I am miserable.

I am a curse.

I am a jinx.

I know that guys, alam kong alam nyo ang nangyari sa nagdaang mga buwan.

Wag nyo na ipaalala ang katangahan ko. Alam ko. Paulit ulit?

Masaya na daw sya. Gets?

HINDI LAHAT NG FAIRY TALE CUTE.

11:09 PM

August 4, 2012

Block 8 -- The Bellefonte, Caloocan

This is where I will start again.

I'm alive.. Literally but you don't have any idea what I went through.

Masakit na kahit papaano ay walang nakakaalam ng pinagdadaanan ko, Si KC lamang na matalik kong kaibigan ang handa kong pagsabihan dahil ayoko na isipin ng ibang tao na kalokohan lang o pagtatawanan lamang ang lahat ng sinabi ko..

Let me tell you little by little.

Magkaroon ka sana ng idea.

I will confess something..

i fell in love with this guy na committed na..

Alam kong imposible at alam kong walang patutunguhan..

Dito marahil nagsimulang hindi maging maganda ang relasyon namin ng boyfriend kong ni minsan ay ayaw kong aminin na boyfriend ko dahil marahil din sa word na insecurity.

Sorry, I know we've talked about this before.. Not to mention insecurity at kahit alam ko na kaliwa't kanan na ang assurance mo ay hindi pa din kita tinitigilan hanggang sa sumuko ka na sa pagpapaliwanag.

We met few years ago. We used to be good friends before, you've been such a blessing especially pag kailangan ko ng kausap dahil alam mong people would always think that it's silly talking to me na walang ginawa kundi magpatawa ng iba at pagg nagseryoso, parang hindi na bagay.

You were never one of them..

I never talked about you. Whenever someone would ask me..

"May boyfriend ka na ba?"

Alam mong yun ang pinakanakakahiyang tanong na tinatanong sa akin.

Dahil alam mong hindi kita aaminin. Ininda mo yun at salamat sa lahat ng pagtitiis.

People would always consider me na walang capability to have a boyfriend and the whole town would just laugh if they hear that I got one.

They never thought nor asked seriously if I really got..

I was the first one who fell in love.

Inamin ko sa'yo yun at nagulat ka kamo dahil alam mo lang talaga na kaibigan lang ang turing ko sa'yo pero lumabas yun nang minsang nagselos ako.

Umamin ka 5 days after na the feeling is mutual.

Naging tayo.

Sumaya alo. Alam mo yan.

Tumagal hanggang mahigit sa isang taon.

Record para sa akin yun.

First love.

At pinakamasakit.

Ngayong naging maayos na ulit ang lahat sa atin kung saan bumalik ka na puro pangarap.

Puro masayang plano, you are enclosed with such happiness and I can always see in in your eyes.

"Babe, I'm happy.. Ikaw?"

Na lagi mong dialogue sa tuwing wala ka ng maitanong.

"Oo naman! :)"

Segunda ko naman. Na sasabayan mo lang ng tango sabay pisil sa kamay.

There, you acknowledge that nothing is more perfect than that.

We we're so inlove six years ago.

So young at heart and mind. Akala ko nga forever na yung mga sweet nothings na tulad nun..

Pero lahat ng fairy tale, may ending. Yun yung inaabangan natin lagi.

At hindi lahat happy ending.

We fell out of love.

Ako unang sumuko dahil ako din unang nagbigay ng dahilan.

Hindi ko inaasahan. Swear.

Maging ang galit mo na ni minsan na hindi ko naimagine na makikita ko.

You don't have any idea sa pinaghirap ko nung mga panahonhg alamko sa sarili kong hindi naman nagwowork ang relationship..

Na sa tinagal nating dalawa bakit sa ganito nauwi at ako pa ang sumuko?

Hindi ko malilimutan yung sinabi mong bigyan kita ngsampung dahilan para bumitaw na sa nasimulan natin..

*sigh*

Hirap mag-isip..

You counted it.

Six years kamo tayo.

Yet? Hindi pala lahat nadadaan sa tagal ng relasyon.

Minsan talaga naghahanap ka ng kulang.

We fell out of love. Inamin ko hanggang sa ikaw na din yung nagbigay at ngayon balita ko nga, masaya ka na. Masakit syempre.

Ang bilis.

Well, sa ngayon? People would always kung may boyfriend na ako.

Nakakapanghinayang pero sa pag-amin ko ito yung tipo na may hinayang factor.

Ang saklap.

Na nagkaroon ako ng boyfriend na muntik na maging fairy tale.

:)

I will always be your baby, Benedict. :)

CONFESSION OF A GEEK: Ultimate Heartache Part II -- POOR NERISSA.

ANO BA TALAGA ANG GUSTO MONG MANGYARI?

"Wawa si Stich. :("

Shut up Nerie.

Please just shut up. 

Alam mo na ang lagay mo, alam mo pwesto mo. 

Manahimik ka kung ayaw mong mabisto. 

Move on. Wag kang bitter. 

Wag kang tanga. Lalong wag kang mangmang. Masaya na yung tao.

Masaya. Alam mo naman siguro yun at nakakahalata ka naman siguro. 

Wag kang shunga. Alam mo na yan ang ginagawa mo. 

Shut up Nerie. Alam mong hindi mo makukuha yun.

Araw-araw na lang ang bitter mo. 

Araw-araw na lang naiisip mo yun. 

Araw-araw nag-iisip ka sa hindi naman dapat. 

Ano pa nga ba? 

Shut up Nerie. You're hurting. 

Just give up okay, Listen. You're hurting. 

You hear me? You are damn stupid. Don't kill yourself. 

Don't let pain eat you, or else you'll be the dumbest creature existing here on earth.

"Bigla yang pumasok sa isip ko habang tinitipa ko bawat salita sa post na 'to. Alam ko nga naman, na hindi na mapapasa akin yung taong yun, ano na naman ikinalulungkot ko at mukha na naman akong engot kakatanong? Malamang gusto mo lang ng perfect. Tama, yung perfect ang gusto ko kaya naiisip ko. 

Stop. Eto na yung huling post. Wala nga palang kwenta yung ginagawa ko."

Kauuwi ko lang. 

Time check: 8:50PM 

31.07.2012

CONFESSION OF A GEEK: Ultimate Heartache PART 1

 "I have to cry it out or else.. I will breakdown.. Or else I don't know.. I love you or should I say I loved you? I'm sorry If I blow things out of proportion and just like this post, It's my way to say, this is what I feel.. Everyday.. Every second.."




I decided to post this..



My mom and I were on our way back to Batangas that day at syempre sumesenti na naman ako. I somehow made this  post inside my mind. (ganyan ako ka-talented! Haha. Joke.) 


I made up my mind. 
I have to admit. 
I have to blurt this out.
I want to scream. 
That this is too much..



I'm sorry. 
I know this is not right. I don't know how it happened. Ni hindi ko alam saan ko nakuha ang lakas ng loob na tumingin sa mata mo. I don't know. 
People would always ask me, "Why him?" or even "Are you serious?" I know each and everyone of you would definitely have their own opinion about me. I don't care but then I respect that, no matter what. 
I don't know.. Again.. Why I came up to this? Pero alam ko at this point, I am on my way of REALIZATION and this is the most painful. 


I fell in love with HIM..
To the whole world.. I'M SORRY.
Kusa ko naramdaman na hindi ko alam bakit siya at bakit ganun. Sounds crazy but then again it's true. He's happy with his life, it shows and it is... obvious..


I made this as well for you. 
I want to say I'm sorry as well to you. 
We broke up. Yes.. People would always think that  because I laugh a lot? I joke a lot? I grin a lot, i can't have a serious relationship. I just broke up with this guy (I don't want to mention his name, he might kill me. Haha!) I'm with for almost 2 years. (pero based sa bilang nya, 6 years na daw kami? Haha.) 


I'm sorry, I have to end. 
And I will tell you the truth that I fell out of love. 
Unti unti ko yung inaamin, nararamdaman na din naman natin na hindi na tayo masaya, na tinitiis na lang natin ang sitwasyon. 
I'm sorry na hindi ko nagawang tapatan yung efforts mo.
Lahat ng ginawa, binigay at nasabi mo sa akin.
Pang-unawa at pagintindi na hindi ko nga naman naibigay sa past 6 years. 
Sorry. 






I fell in love with a guy who will never be mine. 
I hurts and it is a very sweet torture to see him everyday. 
He never notice me, that's the funniest thing and everyone would find it silly but then, I don't care. 
I just can't stand the pain. 






I broke my ex-boyfriend's heart.
I broke my own heart.
I broke my world. 
I took a leap close to pain. 






Bakit naman kasi? 
Ngayon tanong ako ng tanong. 
I admit, i love him though I hardly know him. 












But it will boil to one point..
I have to break my own heart.